A dodo among vultures: Musings on being the last Grunge club left standing

Took me awhile to sift thru my notes from Saturday.
Turns out Tequila is not the performance enhancer they make it out to be.

I'm not what to say about saturday really other than I thought it went well. I think at this point, we've got it down to a fucking science.
This pretty much means that all nights are good except for a few that are great. Saturday was more great than good I would have to say.
A *clears throat* blow by blow account of what happened seems pointless ( If you were there you already know. If you weren't there, get your shit together and come down next time!) and won't make for particularly fun reading for you and writing for me.  So instead, this is continuation on some of the thoughts my alcohol-fueled hands scrolled down upon getting home early sunday morning.


It's fucked up. It seems just yesterday this whole thing was just a crazy idea.  And now not only has three years gone by since then, but the idea actually turned into something that has been up and running for a year.

If I'm honest I never would have guessed we would make it this far. The reason for that? Well first off, I'm a stubborn bastard who wants to do stuff the way I want to do it.
We could have doubled what we did in the past year if I had bended my rules a bit.
Since day one, even if  what we are changed a bit I always knew what we weren't.

The two rules:

We will have nothing to do with any of the major rock bars in clubs in stockholm .
We don't play Kiss, Mötley, Bon Jovi or any other of that fucking clown-shoes crap.

I've said no to Dj's I know could bring in big crowds and offers to collaborate on some pretty big things  only because it would have meant comprising and breaking these rules.

The sky has never been the limit.  We play grunge and seeing as this is not 1992. You can figure out the rest on your own.

When I started doing this I imagined that at some point it might become easy.  That has not been the case.
We are indeed a rare bird and like with anything rare, we have to struggle a bit to not become extinct.

I don't mind it though. The fact that this is at times a hard sell makes me work harder.
Half the shit we've pulled off would not have happened if I hadn't felt we actually needed to do it to get by.
As I write this I am trying to book acts for our final 2012 date.
 As always, trying to reach a little further than the time before.
Not easy ... but as probably the worlds laziest overachiever, I wouldn't have it any other way.

Cheers to one more year and maybe even a few more after that.

Fancy seeing me here.

It's weird.

Very weird in fact.

I've had a hundred ideas of stuff I would love to talk about here during the last few months.

Tons of stuff! Gallons (or cubic liters liters if you roll metric) of interesting, relevant, funny and very Beardworks kind of ideas.

I forgot every last one of them.

I still feel like trying to get this thing rolling again though, so I'm gonna do my best to wing it and see where we end up.

I'm sitting here in a apartment alone with a snoring dog at my side as I write this
I really wish there was anything around me that sparked something  I could draw on and maybe make this at least a little redeeming considering the lack of activity here.
A bad generic cop show (CSI: Tenerife or some such) and the dog are all that is going on here.

It's hard writing these things without being either really pissed or really excited about something.

Looking thru some of my old posts, I realize that it has been way too long and far between updates.

So here's what I plan on doing about it:

I promise at least 9 updates per year as well as jotting down some thoughts following each Bar Misfits and the forthcoming podcast (more on that next time).

Sound good?

I'll take that silence as a "huh?".


Until we meet again.

Everything is a thing.

It never ceases to amaze and annoy me how difficult it seems for people to take a joke these days.
The second anyone opens their mouth people are there to judge it, dissect it and explain what is wrong with what the person just said.

This is mostly an internet thing of course. In real life situations, no one would dare start an argument. No no.. those kind of things are handled via tweets and facebook comments.

When people are hiding behind the shield that is their profile picture / avatar they get very brave and feel the need to assert their beliefs and ideals into any situation where they have a window to do so.
People love telling others their opinions on things.
I can get that. Of course I can.
Why the hell would I have a blog if I didn't to some degree feel the need to do that very thing?

Having said that, why do people feel the need to turn everything into a thing?

This whole rant was triggered earlier today when I made a joke about how men complain that when they have a really bad cold, it somehow surpasses the level of discomfort women feel during child-birth.
I'm not gonna re-post the whole damn thing here , since it was just a silly joke and was meant to be taken as one. Also, it was not that funny.
I can say that the point was that men who do this are just trying to big themselves up and need to stop whining.

Of course, people leaped on this and starting poking at it.

Surprise, surprise… just guys. Some of them just pointing out obvious logic gaps, some just not quite getting what I meant and one self-proclaimed mens rights activist ( yeah.. like we need those).

This was meant as a silly comment but turned into to this huge thing that actually went on for a few hours.

So this huge thing came out of a harmless bit of fun. This is not the first time this has happened to me.



Sometimes a joke is just a joke and should be treated as such. The reason why? A lot of jokes don't really work if you poke at them too much, so leave them alone!

But again, this is largely an internet thing.
You wouldn't hear this in a bar anywhere:

Man 1: So, a horse walks into a bar, orders a beer and says…
Man 2: Hang on! How did the horse learn to talk?!
Man 2: Ok, so he didn't talk he just pointed at stuff. Anyway he's sitting there drinking his beer and..
Man 2: Horses really shouldn't drink alcohol you know...

It wouldn't happen! It's just a dumb joke.
If I however were to doll it up, use a narrative that no longer obliviously makes it joke and posted it facebook, I can imagine a few people poking at it.

I can fully understand and admire trying to champion your beliefs but when we're rapidly getting to the level where we very well could find ourselves discussing the ethics of enabling the alcohol abuse of horses...

So the moral? Well, since I can't see this problem stopping any time soon it would be:

Be funny but not clever unless you want a debate on your hands.



And with that, I will leave you for this time.

Slightly feverishly yours,
Beard

Dramatic pause

....and we're back!

Halloween top 10 round up 2011!

It's the most magical time of the year.
No.. I'm not talking about Christmas (although I applaud any tubby guy with a beard who can make a career out of it) .
I am not talking about Easter (who really cares about this one anymore... honestly.)

I am of course talking about HALLOWEEN!
Yes,I am aware that is actually an old sacred holiday that Americans have U.S.AED the fuck out of.

I don't care. I love it.

So as most of you are too old to go trick or treating (they really need to change it so old fucks like me can do it I feel) and since you're not me and won't have the energy to go to various Halloween parties all week. ..what are you to do on dark, eerie October night in?

Watch movies of course!

So if you are at a loss as to what to watch, keep reading.

Cuddle up text to your ghoulfriend (see what I did there?) with plenty of theme appropriate snacks, something to drink (I prefer hobgoblin ale for times like these), light your jack-o-lantern and have at it!

Now this list is not in anyway my top scary movies EVER kind of deal. These are just movies I plan on watching this year.. I invite you to do the same. Let's do this...

10. Nightmare on Elm street



No big shock there. Yeah, it's cheesy and the dialogue makes certain porno films seem Hemingway but it works! No Halloween is complete without a visit from Freddy! I met Englund a few years back. Hell of a nice guy....sorry for the name-dropping. Name-dropping is bull shit. Bruce Dickinson told me that.

9. The Texas Chainsaw Massacre




There is something very unsettling about being chased by a hilbilly wearing a dead skin mask while wielding a chainsaw. F.Y.I loosely based on true story... in the same way Harry Potter is based on a actual book.

8. House On Haunted Hill





I remember seeing this one in the theatres with a cousin and being truly creeped out. That, outside of various MTV "reality" shows doesn't happen very often.
I haven't seen it since so I'm looking forward to revisiting it.

7. Nightmare Before Christmas




If you really need me to explain why this is on here, get out of here and go hit yourself in the head.
This one is also on my Christmas list btw.

6. Dawn of the Dead / DOTD 2004 version





You have to have zombies! I prefer Night Of the Living Dead over Dawn but I just saw that one on Saturday night so I reckon I need to wait a bit for that. The reason I picked both the original and the remake is I couldn't decide which one to go with. This still only counts as one entry though. No funny business now..

5. House Of 1000 Corpses.




Colourful, cartoony and wonderfully cheesy. Plus the man who made its last name is Zombie...and you don't mess around with someone called that.

4. Bram Stoker's Dracula



This list needed some vampires and I can't think of anyone better for the job than Gary Oldman.
No sparkling, daywalking "Sookeeeeeeeeeh" kind of vamps here.

3. The Frighteners



One of my all time favorite movies. In my opinion Peter Jackson's best. Ghosts, Michael J.Fox and lots of cemetery scenes. If you haven't seen it, you're an idiot...but an idiot that is indeed in for a treat.

2. Friday the 13th III




Too easy I here you say. Well.. yeah ..but this is still a must I feel.
The reason I picked the 3rd film is that it marks the first appearance of the hockey mask. A true classic.

And now... the number 1 on my list:


1. Halloween




The genre starting classic. Teenagers drinking and having sex unaware that a guy wearing a mask is coming to kill them all one at a time in very unlikely ways. Sound familiar? Of course it does. Countless of movies have been using this winning concept but this is where it all started.
Awesome soundtrack as well.


Well.. that's what I'm doing provided I can find some ghoul to join me.

Horror films when done right are truly a magic thing. I feel fairly confident that I have put together a cracking list for you guys. Hope you enjoy it as much as I know I will!


See ya next time and have a great Halloween!

/Beard.

To whom it may concern.

New times.
New layout.
Same... other stuff.

The other "N" word

All right then.
I've been writing on and off on this for a few days now.
Hopefully what you're reading now has gone thru some editing and quality control before you read it. Mostly since I'm not really sure where, if anywhere I'm going with this.

The annual Sci Fi convention is almost upon us here in Stockholm. I've been a regular attendee of this event since 02 or 03.
Back then it was pretty sparsely attended (I think there might have been a bit of a line when Andy Serkis was there though.) and very far removed from anything anyone would call "cool".
By anyone I of course mean "normal" non-Sci Fi convention attendees... so pretty much the majority of everyone I knew at that point.

Joe Flanigan from Stargate: Atlantis autograph. A VERY prized possession of mine.

Things sure have changed in the 8 years since then. In alot of ways.
For one, the term nerd used to be a very negative thing to call people. Geek was a slightly less harsh term.. but still not anything you wanted to classified as.

When I was growing up I recall having a hell of a time meeting girls.
I was a metal fan (very uncool during the mid to late 90's) and also a sci fi fan.
To utter the phrase Star Wars or even worse Star Trek was a sure way to get made fun of at length by pretty much everyone.
If you we're outed as a "Trekkie" you could feel secure in knowledge that you were not going to be getting laid in the foreseeable future.
Tough times for a glasses wearing Sci Fi fan who listened to heavy metal I must say.

I of course was not alone. There was about four of us.

I could tell tales of days gone by when we hid away doing whatever nerds like us used to do.. but I won't.
It wouldn't be very interesting and I'm sure you heard something pretty similar before.

It's funny how things change. Metal went from being something not to be taken seriously to for all intents and purposes the most dominant genre sales wise in just a few short years.
Rightfully so I say. It was about fucking time.
As for nerds in general.. something's changed there as well. The difference between this and metal is contrary to metal I can't really pin-point a single thing that happened that changed it all.
It just happened.

Nerd is now a banner people wear with pride. Not even limited admitting to a love of Sci Fi /computers/comics . The way people dress has also changed.
Take a look at this pic:


That kind of sums it up really.

And I'm not sure how to feel about this.
On one hand I love the fact that one bumps into Doctor Who fans (not just dudes.. GIRLS!) as soon as you leave the apartment,
On the other... like metal it was kind of nice when it was just a few of us..
A totally childish "NO IT'S MINE!" attitude to have of course. The upsides far outweigh the down.

I'm sure everyone has seen The Big Bang Theory at this point. I love it.
I don't think that show would have worked a few years ago in the same way it does today.

This like anything is just a phase of course. In a few years time nerds will nerds again. The weak will jump ship while the rest of us remain on board standing in line to get Brent Spiner or whoever it maybe to sign a dusty a DVD.
And even after that I'm sure there will come a time when nerds are cool yet again.
Like I said phases. Everything is a just phase. A pessimistic jerk like myself might even go so far as to point out that evolutionary wise, we as a species are also just a phase.

I will however leave you with this one last thought.

One HUGE upside to Sci Fi nerds and metal fans is that we are one of the few demographics left that still buy DVDs and actual CDs and thus keep the industry going so the rest of you can go out and buy The Hangover 2 on blu-ray or the latest Kent record in three different formats.

You're welcome.




NEXT TIME: 10 top movies to watch during Halloween weekend!