My perception of time being what it is, I feels like no time at all has passed since last august. I admittedly didn't have the best few months leading up to last fall but I recall I had a ton of ideas of lots of changes I felt I needed to make that would change that.
Like I said when I started writing this a few months back, I intend to keep this as far removed from my personal shit as possible unless there is some point to be made from me sharing something. I think I've been pretty good at that so far.
This post seems in way dangerously close to what I said I would avoid but I'll try to watch my step and hope I don't step in anything.
Like I said, I had a whole laundry list of stuff I wanted (or convinced myself I wanted) to change.
Of all those things guess how many I actually went thru with...
NONE.
A few months later, it was christmas and as per usual I found myself a few days later on new years eve thinking yet again about changes.
6 months later I have not really done anything.
On saturday night, I saw Iron Maiden (one of my all time favorite bands. This gig marked my 13th time seeing them live) play here in Stockholm. This gig was ten years almost to the day (ok like 2 months off but fuck you..it's not like any of you would ever know I was off if I hadn't just mentioned it.) that I saw them back in 2000. As I was standing in the front row waiting for them to start, I happened for whatever reason to look down at my t-shirt.
I bought that shirt the day of the gig in 2000.
I remember thinking about that the night before but it hadn't really hit me all the weird shit that has happened to me since that warm night in june ten years ago.
Most of it has been good. Some of it not great and a very small part really bad.
Both me and the t shirt do look slightly more worn now which I think is a good thing.
As anyone who is a fan knows, a Maiden shirt looks best after it has been worn in.
This of course got me thinking about the new term ahead, all the stuff that will be different and all the new challenges that will require me to be or least think differently than in the past in one way or another.
It also dawned on me all the changes going on around me with people in my extended family.
People are changing cities, getting married, having kids, starting new jobs and all sorts of other stuff.
It should be said right off the bat that I really really admire the people around me and all the various changes they have made. People are doing shit I would have not thought they could be capable of just a few years ago. This is of course fucking awesome and I wish them all the best.
What I really realized was the reason why I feel compelled to change things even though I obviously make no effort to do so: Everyone else is doing something new so I guess I should to.
Really silly when one looks at it like that.
That really isn't me at all. When I go out drinking, I find a place I like, sit down and stay there til I feel like moving, perfectly content watching other people table hop all night. If you like doing that, do it!
I don't.
I find a a nice comfy barstool and stay there until either until I feel like being somewhere else or I feel all partied out and wanna go home.
So as I look thru my calender for the fall which even in the second week of august is filling up pretty damn quick I am not all nervous or fearing the giant task that these next few months (at least) will bring. Some of the stuff I have to do I'm sure is quite frankly beyond what I at least today can handle..some big changes are indeed coming. Having said that...
I am not partied out, I don't want to be somewhere else and I'm not ready to go home yet.
The geeky 17 year old kid in the front row wearing that Iron Maiden shirt will almost without doubt in ten years be a geeky 37 old wearing the same damn t shirt, just as excited to hear the same damn songs one more time.
/Beard
P.S: Yes I know...sorry. Next time I'll write something mean about some politician or maybe midgets.
Ten years ago.
A few days ago.
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