Atonement

I feel I even now need to make for the last post being too "me me me me me!".

So here it goes.

I REALLY didn't like the movie After life.

Dear god... I mean...shit.. I usually enjoy a proper feel-bad movie but I do like them to have at least a hint of some kind of point.
I didn't think anything could ruin the experience of seeing Christina Ricci topless but somehow they succeeded where others have failed. Don't watch this...


Go watch some old Bill Murray movie instead and just thank me later.


/Beard


P.S: I do feel I've made up for the previous post and I hope we are all cool now.

Table-hopping in a brave new world.

Two weeks left until the start of the term.
My perception of time being what it is, I feels like no time at all has passed since last august. I admittedly didn't have the best few months leading up to last fall but I recall I had a ton of ideas of lots of changes I felt I needed to make that would change that.
Like I said when I started writing this a few months back, I intend to keep this as far removed from my personal shit as possible unless there is some point to be made from me sharing something. I think I've been pretty good at that so far.

This post seems in way dangerously close to what I said I would avoid but I'll try to watch my step and hope I don't step in anything.

Like I said, I had a whole laundry list of stuff I wanted (or convinced myself I wanted) to change.

Of all those things guess how many I actually went thru with...

NONE.
A few months later, it was christmas and as per usual I found myself a few days later on new years eve thinking yet again about changes.
6 months later I have not really done anything.

On saturday night, I saw Iron Maiden (one of my all time favorite bands. This gig marked my 13th time seeing them live) play here in Stockholm. This gig was ten years almost to the day (ok like 2 months off but fuck you..it's not like any of you would ever know I was off if I hadn't just mentioned it.) that I saw them back in 2000. As I was standing in the front row waiting for them to start, I happened for whatever reason to look down at my t-shirt.
I bought that shirt the day of the gig in 2000.
I remember thinking about that the night before but it hadn't really hit me all the weird shit that has happened to me since that warm night in june ten years ago.
Most of it has been good. Some of it not great and a very small part really bad.

Both me and the t shirt do look slightly more worn now which I think is a good thing.
As anyone who is a fan knows, a Maiden shirt looks best after it has been worn in.

This of course got me thinking about the new term ahead, all the stuff that will be different and all the new challenges that will require me to be or least think differently than in the past in one way or another.

It also dawned on me all the changes going on around me with people in my extended family.
People are changing cities, getting married, having kids, starting new jobs and all sorts of other stuff.
It should be said right off the bat that I really really admire the people around me and all the various changes they have made. People are doing shit I would have not thought they could be capable of just a few years ago. This is of course fucking awesome and I wish them all the best.

What I really realized was the reason why I feel compelled to change things even though I obviously make no effort to do so: Everyone else is doing something new so I guess I should to.

Really silly when one looks at it like that.

That really isn't me at all. When I go out drinking, I find a place I like, sit down and stay there til I feel like moving, perfectly content watching other people table hop all night. If you like doing that, do it!
I don't.
I find a a nice comfy barstool and stay there until either until I feel like being somewhere else or I feel all partied out and wanna go home.
So as I look thru my calender for the fall which even in the second week of august is filling up pretty damn quick I am not all nervous or fearing the giant task that these next few months (at least) will bring. Some of the stuff I have to do I'm sure is quite frankly beyond what I at least today can handle..some big changes are indeed coming. Having said that...

I am not partied out, I don't want to be somewhere else and I'm not ready to go home yet.

The geeky 17 year old kid in the front row wearing that Iron Maiden shirt will almost without doubt in ten years be a geeky 37 old wearing the same damn t shirt, just as excited to hear the same damn songs one more time.


/Beard


P.S: Yes I know...sorry. Next time I'll write something mean about some politician or maybe midgets.



Ten years ago.




A few days ago.

Return Of The Son Of The Sequel Of The Return Of The Revenge RIdes Again ... III!

To quote Jay Leno and his opinion on hollywood:


"We have three CSI series, twenty Star trek movies and TWENTY TWO James bond movies.This town is BUILT on new and innovative ideas!"

That might not have been the exact words but I think I got the key points in there.

Sequels are indeed odd little creatures aren't they? It seems that if a film does any bit of business, a follow-up is already being planned even before you have a chance to leave the movie theater. Actually no that's not true. These days, the film doesn't even have to do well or even really have any fans. Whether you want it or not, you are damn well gonna get another "not another movie".
I am, to some degree not really complaining. In my opinion if you like something why wouldn't want more of it?
Some people maintain that some movie franchises and tv series have been ruined by new additions that are not as strong as the film/season before it.

I agree that just because the first two films or seasons are great does not really mean everything that comes after will be gold.
My name is Earl is one of my favorite series.
First season: Great!
Second season: Fantastic!
Third season: WOW!
Forth season: Complete shit...

You know what my trick is? When watching the series, I just go ahead and don't watch the last season. As it turns out it's not very hard to not watch something.

Sci-fi is a very interesting thing as far as sequels are concerned.

Of course we have Star Wars which I think I'll leave alone because it's just far to obvious.
Star Trek however... I as you might know hail from U.S. where there are far more trekkies than here in Sweden.
I recall a party I was at a few years ago. Since I'm a kinda weird looking guy with dreads and a long beard, the christian republican chicks weren't going for me anyway so I decided to spend my time getting very drunk and listening to an exciting debate about the latest Star trek film.

What really struck me as interesting is the fact that in spite of being huge fans of the franchise they don't really seem to like it very much. They spent at least an hour talking about the various apparently very obvious shortcomings in the new film and also what was wrong with like the last TEN of them.
Seems like the joy of being a fan is this case is bitching about the thing one is supposedly a fan of...hmm.

I realize now that my original idea behind this post has been lost... Sorry, here's what I am trying to get it to:

I just watched the second film in the Millennium series called Flickan Som Lekte Med Elden .
A pretty decent and entertaining film all and all.

So what's gonna happen now?
Hollywood is taking it and making a more Hollywood friendly version.
I fucking hate when this happens.. We've have had like TWO swedish films that have really done well and both of them are being turned into a big Hollywood productions.
I see this happen all the time with films from other countries of course. I think I even recall some british film from a few years back that for some reason someone felt compelled to make an "american" version of..
To any american readers: You do know it's the same language right?

The two latest victims are of course
Låt den rätte komma in (which is now called "Let me in")
and
Män som hatar kvinnor(which is now "The Girl With The Dragon Tattoo)

Hollywood is the the shitty cover band of the film industry. You know, the kind that plays way too loud and pretend to actually be the band they are covering.


But to be fair, we are actually getting yet another Zoolander so they're not all bad..

Sequels/reboots/remakes I could do without but regardless to my feelings are indeed on their merry way or already upon us:

Scream 4 (Enough said)
Nightmare On Elm Street (wtf is wrong with Robert Englund? Bring him back!)
Superman (For fucks sake.. pick a guy and just run with it!)
Friday The 13th 2 (but really it's a follow up to 2009s reboot of the series.. I think I have made my point)
Spider-Man ( Oh come on! The last one just came out three years ago... why do a reboot?)
Evil Dead ( Why tamper with perfection? I should point out that it is Sam Rami doing the reboot. So he is remaking he own movie...)
Dracula ( think this story has been..excuse the bad joke, done to death)
Yet another ...Of The Dead ( I know he invented the genre but that doesn't mean you can't screw up)
Titanic 3-D ( This idea really is ten types of stupid..)
Macgyver (NO! JUST NO! LEAVE IT THE FUCK ALONE!)
Magnum P.I. ( See above)


I am however looking forward to the Highlander and Pet Sematary remakes.
They have a chance of working.. maybe. I dunno.

That's it for now. I'm off to watch Schindler's List II

Nothing new to report.

It's been awhile since I wrote anything here.
It has alot to do with my last three posts .
They have been very...let's say "savage".
Seeing is how I really don't have anything to lash out at for the time being, I've been keeping a low profile.


I today do have one thing to complain about.

Doesn't really piss you off when you stop a couple of guys in cruiser and it turns out that these were not the droids you were looking for?

Just kidding.


Anyway.. I'm sure I'll find something at least slightly relevant to write about soon.

Until then I hope you all(both of you) are having a nice summer.



P.S:
I could be Jesus but I turned it down because I don't like working weekends and holidays. True story!

Wtfspace or Mr.Beard vs.Tom Cruise & his pals

Not really sure what to say...
I do indeed have alot to say about this but I'll try to keep this fairly brief.
I happen to know quite alot of scientology.
In fact I have gone out my way to learn about them so I'm way more informed than most people I discuss this with.
This is due to some personal experience I have had dealing with scientologists in the past. Not going into that though.

What I will say is these are people you DO NOT want to get involved with.
I have no grand conspiracy theory about any grand schemes they might have for the world but I do know how they treat their former members.
They have and I'm sure will continue to , lay waste to innocent lives simply for having a change of heart.
They do this by forcing new members to co-sign loans upwards of several 100 thousand dollars with more senior members.
When they try to get out of the "church", the person who they signed the loan with simply stops paying his part leaving this poor sap with a huge loan to pay off all on his or her own.
It's not unusual for former members to be in debt well into 6 figure amounts the rest of their lives.


So as you might have guessed this "religion" is about money. *

It is what Church of Satan was during the 60s and 70s. By being a member, people will assume you're a big shot because you need alot of money to advance to the higher levels(each level you upgrade to costs you...and we're not talking a couple of bucks mind you.)
That's why it's the "in" religion is Hollywood.


Now why I am bringing this up at all?

Well I don't like the fact that myspace has "church of scientology" banners all over the place.



This shit is NOT ok.
Apart from sending a few emails asking various people "what's up with that shit?" there is not much I can do. Hopefully I'm not the only one questioning this.



/Beard



* Well hehe.. I mean most of the big ones are aren't they? That however is another rant for another day.

Hail to the king baby.

Since everyone seems inclined to share their views on the big wedding that took place yesterday (if you don't know which one I'm talking about.. pick a direction and run. You're better off not knowing believe you me.) I to will voice my feelings on the matter, which are...


Who gives a shit enough to give a shit?
Come on.. really. Sure, this is one of those big events that ends up imposing itself on everyone and yes I don't think it's really fair that taxpayers pick up the tab for a for 2 MILLION dollar wedding.

Of course not everyone feels this way. I think both sides have pretty much voiced their opinions on both the pros and cons about this thing so I won't go into that in any great detail.
Needless to say anywhere you go you will find people who have very different feelings about what went on.

I know people in both camps
A: The ones who absolutely love everything about this and even cried during the ceremony.
And of course:
B: People who are disgusted by the whole thing.


The funny thing: Guess who wasted the most time talking about it?

The "B" people of course.

I myself fall into that category. I spent yesterday trying not to be constantly reminded of what was going on and the few times I was I shrugged it off.
So what?
It happened. To some it was a major pain in the ass and to others something wonderful. Just fucking come to peace with it.
If you can't do anything about it why whine about it?

What I WILL say about yesterdays festivities is:

Maybe the 5 million royal guards weren't necessary and perhaps the SÄPO guys running along side the carriage trying to "get their USA on" was something we could have done with out.
Also tying up downtown stockholm all day so they could do a victory lap and the new prince could show off the fact that he's "hitting that" might have been stretching it.

But that was yesterday. I myself had a very nice day and in few hours all this crap will be last week.




The only king you'll ever need.

Football season - the art of yelling at tiny men on a screen

Well it's the that time again isn't it...
It seems to happen just when I really start enjoying the summer.
All of the sudden you can't go into a bar without a ton of people oooing and awing over tiny little men on a tv screen kicking a ball around.
I am course talking about the world cup!
Now, there are quite a few things I don't like about this but I'll stick to stuff that actually might effect others outside of the strange universe that is my mind.

First off:
There is no escaping this is there? You have to live under a fucking rock not to somehow have this somehow effect your day-to-day in someway if you want to venture outside your home.
Like hanging out in bars enjoying a relaxing beer or two and having a quiet talk with a friend?
Tough shit. You won't be doing that for at least another two weeks.

Now at this point you've realized that the bar is not really that fun on this night and decide to head on home.
Don't live within walking distance from the pub? Ah! another tough break. You will have enjoy screaming drunks on the way to/from watching the match in question.
( Yes I know drunk people tend to make alot of noise as it is but they do get a little louder in times like these.)
So you decide the next night to maybe go see a movie. This can't go wrong can it?
Well my dear friend you did not think of the fact that this happens to be a very football obsessed country. People who don't give a rats ass about this kind of stuff otherwise go completely nuts as well.
In other words good luck finding someone who won't be staring at a tv, yelling at the tiny men.

The next night you buy yourself a a six pack and decide to have an evening at home watching some tv. Seems like a safe plan. All you need to do is be sure to be there and you're all set, right?
Wrong.
What the fuck do you think they will be showing instead of your favorite shows?

You guessed it.
So actually I take back what I said about being safe if you don't leave your home.

Let's move on shall we?

Ok this is something I find really, really silly.

At some point during the next few weeks you are bound to hear the following statement at least once:

"We won!"


Hmm... to be fair I think the players did most of the work but don't get me wrong!
Your drinking of beer and yelling at the tv quite possibly was the x factor that made the difference.

I have had this argument fairly often. I am actually quite good at it by now.

I get the whole fan thing. I really do. I myself for example am a huge Iron Maiden fan but I assure you that after I see them live you'll never hear me say:

"We had a great gig tonight!"


Sounds silly right? But people maintain there is a difference so let me address some of the more common points of criticism that comes my way when I make this comparison:
1: The team needs us! Without us they couldn't exist.
What and Bruce Springsteen could somehow keep going on without anyone buying his albums and going to see him play? No, he really couldn't could he?

2: They are two entirely different things!
Yes and no... people buy t shirts and tickets to support say hammarby and people buy tickets and t shirts to support Green Day as well.

3:(more so than not connected to the first argument) We are part of the team as well!
In spirit perhaps yes just in the same way people feel a connection with say.. Kent when they seem them in concert. I get this and respect this. I do however not think this means that Kent gets 50 000 extra members on any given gig night.

4: Fuck you! You're an idiot!
Admittedly I'm not the brightest bulb in the box but i don't think that makes me a full on official card holding idiot... I leave that to... wait for it....

Football hooligans!

This is my favorite part of the whole experience.
The feeling of aggression and danger in larger town squares and in the vicinity of stadiums is frightening in an almost magical way isn't it?

I recall a few years ago going out for a beer with my girlfriend of the moment on a thursday night.
We entered the bar. A bar we had been to many times before. We ended up leaving after like half an hour. The reason?
Well silly me assumed that in spite of there being a hint of some apparently highly offensive color in my outfit, would get to have to a few drinks in peace.
Stupid stupid beard.
Of course the "fans" did the only right thing and were aggressive in that very charming "about 5 drinks too many" kind of way until we felt compelled to leave.
Serves us right of course. Not planning my outfit for the day without checking to see whatever "tiny men kicking a ball on a screen" event that was going on was really stupid.

This is really the thing I hate the most about this shit.

Now since I've used music as a point of comparison so far I will continue to do so.
When there is a match somewhere in town, the police go into overdrive posting officers all over the place.
Some might say they do similar things in the area around a big concert.
Yes they do but generally speaking they don't need police in full riot gear during a U2 concert.


Something one tends to see at least a few times somewhere any given year.




Something one can see any night Iron Maiden play anywhere.








So feel free to yell at the tiny men on the screen and say dumb ass stuff like "we won" if it makes you happy... just don't force this on the rest of us who most likely won't be going out for the next few weeks.

See you sometime around midsummer.

/Beard



P.S
I know I know.. I'll get angry mail for this one... send em on over to goscewyourself@howsyourmother.com